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Film Drunkies — The Perks of Being a Wallflower: the Drinking Game

Bum bum bumpaaaaaah! Bum bum buuuuh. Bum bum bumpAAAAAAH! Bum bum BUM BUM BUM!

Ah yiiiiis! It’s time for…


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Who amongst us hasn’t wanted to be Indie?? He’s the best kind of archaeologist: A TERRIBLE ONE!


“Hmm…the people of this region revere this golden idol as their deity…I’mma take it.”

Harrison Ford in some of his best work! With more insane action scenes than the Fugitive, but not so “has-to-make-some-kind-of-sense” as Star Wars.

Everyone seems to hate the middle Indie flick, presumably for the lack of Nazis. But it’s Chris favorite out of the three. Why is that, you didn’t ask?

Well because it opens with a big gay musical number, of course!!


Sort of yaaaaas! Admittedly, Willie Scott (the above broad) is the worst character in the franchise (a hard-fought tie with Short Round) and kicks significantly less ass than any of the other Indy ladies, but in reality she is the perfect representation of how we would all react and behave if we were in that movie. All we’d do is scream and cry and complain about how smelly elephants are and be grossed out by all the bugs and then have our hearts literally ripped out by the evil priest and figuratively ripped out when Indy inevitably leaves us.

So don’t act like you’d be whoopin’ a bunch of Nazi ass, because in reality, you’d be much more:



Enjoyableness: 5 /5 Carol Channings

Difficulty: 4/5 Stockard Channings


Hello, Mr. Ford! Our ark ain’t lost, but you can still raid it.

The Rules!

1) Drink whenever the main theme plays.

2) Drink whenever someone is speaking a different language.

3) Drink whenever the movie is kinda racist.

4) Drink anytime someone says “Indy, Willie, or Shorty.”

5) Drink whenever a gun is fired.

6) HEAVY DRINK whenever someone gets their heart ripped out.

7) Drink whenever Short Round is over the top Chinese.

8) Drink for every new animal you see.

9) FINISH YOUR DRINK during the opening number!

10) Drink whenever they mention the stones.

11) Drink whenever Willie is experiencing some culture shock.

12) Consecutively more drinking for each desecration of an ancient artifact.

13) Drink whenever Indy is kind of a terrible person.

14) WATERFALL during the travelling map sequence.

15) Drink for every booby trap or secret entrance.

Phew! What a wild ride. And by the end we were all cheering for Indy to take down those filthy heathens and their disgusting god. How gauche, right?! You offer human sacrifices to your god!? Gross, now let’s all go to church where we can cannibalize the body and drink the blood of our god.

Being the huge lover of Indiana Jones you are, you must have seen this game and thought…


But by the time Indy was tripping on the blood of the Kali-Ma, you were probably cursing our blog and screaming…


Is it Indy or Indie? Well, anyway, until next time, faithful winos!!

“Looks like you’ve got a case of Jebediah fever!” – Hollis Hurlbut

“Haha, and just when I was getting over my Chester A. Arthritis.” – Lisa Simpson

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