In Halloween II, Rob Zombie tests the boundaries of cinematic violence by unleashing a stab-happy Mike Myers on hospitals, strip clubs and Laurie Strode’s fucked-up psyche. Call it brutal, call it offensive, call it one hell of a statement – either way, your liver ain’t coming away unscathed.
The only thing better than watching horror films? Watching horror films and drinking beers. Drinking lots of beers. The Macabre Bros. give the Internet what it so desperately wants with The Drinking Games, an ongoing series of liver-testing games tailor-made for horror films. Be warned: The rules occasionally give away twists, plot points and other spoilers, so we recommend seeing the films first. Now, let’s get rowdy.
Note: This film is not for everyone, but then again, neither is a 40 of Olde English. Why not pair the two for a night you’ll never forget, even if you black out halfway through? Here’s how it works: Don’t open your 40 until the first death. From there, you have until Laurie learns about her, uh, bizarre family tree to drain it completely. If you don’t, chug what remains and take a shot. If you do, congratulations and keep drinking.
The 40-ounce segment These rules can easily be tweaked, but we wrote them to keep pace with the film. You’ll finish that 40 right on time. When the coroner begins his “fuck” soliloquy – D
Mike’s alive! – D
Every time “White Satin” plays on those creepy black-and-white TVs – D
The Mike vs. nurse stab-a-thon – D
When Laurie takes a dip in the hospital’s industry-leading body pit – D
“Buddy!!!!” (winner of the most inadvertently funny line) – D
When Laurie wakes up from the sickest, most brutal dream this side of Zombie’s first Halloween – D
Every appearance of Alice “Zombie Really Loves Music” Cooper – D
The Rorschach talk – D
When Laurie demands some fucking prescription drugs already – D
Laurie works at a record store, duh – D
When Big Mike and Lil’ Mike meet Ghost Mommy (aka Sheri “Take an Acting Class” Moon Zombie) – D
Dr. Loomis is back! With an assistant! – D
Dr. Loomis gives his eloquent “father” presentation/metaphor/sermon – D
When the grieving dad pulls a gun on the good doctor – D
Every appearance of Weird “Seriously, Zombie Really Loves Music” Al – D
When Big Mike, Lil’ Mike and Ghost Mommy prove just how handy roadside billboards are, the Internet be
damned – D
When Mike gets his mask back – D
Mmmmmm…Mike loves dog hearts – 2 drinks
When Laurie pulls the “Woe is me, I survived a mass killing spree” card on Annie…and gets put in her place – D
When Laurie wakes from the murder dream she may or may not have enjoyed… – D
Laurie learns the truth about her sordid heritage – Finish your 40
The rest of the rules Every appearance of Ghost Mommy and the freaky white horse – H
The skeleton Mike/weird-blobs-at-a-dinner-table scene – H
When Oct. 31 (dun-dun!) appears on the screen – Cheers and D
Have a heart: The sheriff just lost his only daughter – S
Laurie’s death – X
The Legend H = Take a hit. D = 1 drink of beer. S = 1 shot of the hard stuff. We kept it cheap and dirty with Evan Williams. X = Strikeout. Combination H and D, then blow the hit out. Believe us, you’ll want to skip the S with this film. As usual, our rules call for 1 drink at every death, sex scene and boob sighting.