Film Drunkies — BASEketball: the Drinking Game (1998)

Video Baseketball drinking game

Remember all of the times we’ve said there aren’t enough scary movies on our blog? EPECIALLY given the fact that we’re doing a spoopy Halloween post?? Well good news!! We’re about to make your day with three – that’s right, THREE scary movies in a row! Well, actually they’re not so much scary movies as they ARE Scary Movie. Someday we’ll learn how to watch an actual scary movie. But hey, until then, there’s Brenda saying stuff like this:

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That’s right, it’s time for…

The SCARY MOVIE, SCARY MOVIE II, & SCARY MOVIE III Drinking Games!

Ahhhhh yeah! The original Scary Movie is flat out, slap your knee, punch your wife hilarious. If you disagree and point out cinematic marvels such as Meet the Spartans and Vampires Suck which were only made because Scary Movie was a success, may we take this moment to counter your argument: Shut up.

Scary Movie is a brilliant satire, or as we in the movie industry call it: a spoof. It perfectly made fun of everything. It’s just pure silliness, much the same way Airplane! was a shrewd send up of Zero Hour!. We mean, come on! Cindy is so incredibly oblivious and stupid that you can’t help but cackle at the shenanigans she gets herself into. Also, the way Ghost Face runs. IT’S SO FUNNY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW HE RAN IN SCREAM! GET IT?!!?!?!

Originally posted by e-e-r-i-n-e-s-s

So anyway, much like when we posted all of the Harry Potters at the same time (due to laziness), we will post all three games at once. You should play them all in a row because it will be like a cosine graph; the first one is great, then the second one drops way down, but hey, the third one is pretty funny! Also to those of you ‘social activists’ aka “I just finished my first semester of liberal arts college and it’s really taught me a lot, like how race isn’t a real thing. Wow man, just wow,” get the stick out of your ass and laugh at Brenda being super ghetto. It’s funny. It was meant to be completely over the top and stereotypical. That’s how you properly make fun of racism. Jesus.

Okay, enough of this; let’s get to the good stuff!

Scary Movie

Enjoyableness: 5/5 Carol Channings

Difficulty: 4/5 Stockard Channings

The Rules!

1) Drink whenever someone says “Cindy.”

2) Drink whenever someone says “Shorty.”

3) Drink whenever someone dies.

4) Drink when you laugh and you know you shouldn’t.

5) Drink every time Brenda is ghetto.

6) Drink whenever something racist happens.

7) Drink whenever you see blood.

8) Drink whenever the phone rings.

9) Drink whenever they say “Brenda.”

10) Drink whenever there’s a hint that Ray is gay.

12) Drink whenever someone screams.

13) Drink whenever Doofy says “Special Officer Doofy.”

14) Drink whenever you see drugs or alcohol on screen.

Scary Movie II

Enjoyableness: 3/5 Carol Channings

Difficulty: 4/5 Stockard Channings

The Rules!

1) Drink whenever they say “Cindy”

2) Drink whenever there is a movie reference.

3) Drink whenever Brenda is ghetto

4) Drink whenever the movie is gross.

5) Drink whenever they say “fuck.”

6) Drink anytime Anna Faris breathes heavily.

7) Drink whenever Tim Curry is creepy.

8) Drink whenever Dwight’s disability is made fun of.

9) Drink whenever Cindy is stupid.

10) Drink whenever Ray is gay…again.

11) Drink whenever Shorty is high.

12) HEAVY DRINK for the Skeleton scene.

13) WATERFALL while Regan is peeing.

14) Drink when the movie is stupid.

15) Drink when the butler’s hand fails him.

Scary Movie III

Enjoyableness: 4/5 Carol Channings

Difficulty: 4/5 Stockard Channings

The Rules!

1) Drink whenever they say “Cindy.”

2) Drink whenever Brenda is ghetto.

3) Drink whenever Simon Rex is stupid.

4) Drink whenever there is a sight gag.

5) Drink consecutively for each celeb cameo.

6) Drink for each movie being spoofed.

7) HEAVY DRINK for “Who da fuck threw that.”

8) Drink whenever you feel bad for laughing.

9) Drink whenever someone gets hurt.

10) Drink whenever Anna Faris breathes heavily.

11) Drink whenever Anthony Anderson or Kevin Hart are gay.

Whoooo, dear God. Four and a half straight hours of drinking, assuming you did this whole thing correctly. You probably started the first movie thinking, “time for some juicy satirical goodness.”

While in the middle of the second movie, you were losing feeling in your finger tips and your face was starting to flush. You know, a little more like this.

And by the time Queen Latifa shows up in the third one, you were just.

We don’t blame you, but we applaud your dedication to your addiction. And yet! Halloween is not over; not by a long shot! So there’s still plenty of spooky drinking to do! So sober up, make an appearance at that AA meeting in the church basement, pick up a couple more 40 oz from the liquor store ‘round the corner, and come back real soon for more!

Until next time!

“Hey, Mrs. Simpson, I’ve got your latest issue of Sponge and Vacuum Magazine.” – Benevenstanciano

“Thanks, Benevenstanciano!” – Marge Simpson